Mafia 88: Imperial Kitchen

General IC Mafia
22

DAY 6

Oldie (7) - Torqez, thirdrock, KT, Dukey, TU, Nolio, Undeath

Sunstorm (1) - Oldie
Dukey (1) - Sunstorm

“There’s only 9 of you left!”, chef Ramsay said with a smile. “We’re getting closer and closer to the end of this competition, and the pressure is on!”

“There have been some remarkable performances throughout this competition, and some which were, quite frankly, below par. Food critic Anton Ego has had the most individual challenge wins, with 3 under his belt. Remy has successfully captained his teams 2 times now, and the Soup Nazi has consistently denied soup across the board to anyone who asked.”

The contestants exchanged weary glances as Ramsay continued.

“There is one of you, however, and only one, who has neither won an individual nor a team challenge so far. And that person is you, Oldie.”

“I’m sorry chef, I know I’ve been slacking. It’s just I hadn’t realized the competition had actually started yet. I’ll do better from now on, you’ll see!”

“Say that again? You didn’t realize people were being eliminated all around you?”

“No chef. I don’t really pay attention to things.”

“You donkey. Come here you.” Chef Ramsay grabbed two slices of bread and pressed them against each side of Oldie’s head.

“Now repeat after me: I am a stupid sandwich!”

“I am a stupid sandwich!”

“Again!”

"I am a stupid sandwich!"´

“Louder!”

“I AM A STUPID SANDWICH!!!”

“Excellent! You’re good at following orders at least! But I need a leader, not a follower. Give me your apron and say goodbye, this is the end for you.”

Oldie (townie) has been lynched

It is now NIGHT PHASE! You have until 10am GMT to send your decisions to ZoZ and me.

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23

This round sounds great fun… loving the writing, almost wish I’d joined in :wink:

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24

Almost being the operative word I imagine :stuck_out_tongue:

25

NIGHT 7

Anton Ego quietly muttered to his fellow conspirator.

“It’s… done. I think. I planted some synthetic drugs in his room about an hour ago. I overheard him saying yesterday in the bar he was into trying ‘new cool stuff all the time’. So here’s a chance he may indulge and lose focus. It is a pretty potent hallucinogenic agent, I’ve been told.”

KT called out through the studio “Hello? Anyone have some corn starch I can borrow? I need to thicken this french onion soup right now, and I’m all out!”

All over the studio, negative answers sounded. It seemed no corn starch was to be found anywhere.

“You would thicken ONION SOUP with the corn starch? And not THE FLOUR?”

Sunstorm appeared.

He was waving a humongous metal soup ladle in the air, and was holding a big ginger stalk.His eyes bulged out of his head. He jumped on the nearest station, planting his bare foot right in the middle of the lasagne all’astrice Torqez had just composed as a main.

“Hey! What the fucking hell, man?” Torqez furiously stabbed Sunstorm in the leg with a shellfish fork. Sunstorm didn’t even flinch.

Ramsay blew a fuse. Could no one just… try to cook a good meal?

“Who do you think you are? Get do…”

Sunstorm shouted through the studio.

"I am Jadams, Prince of Cuisinia, Defender of the secrets of Bistro Grayskull! This is Ginger, my fearless friend.”

He waved his ginger stalk a bit.

“Fabulous cooking powers were revealed to me today when I held aloft my magic ladle and said “By the power of Grayskull, I’ll snort this powder!” Ginger became a mighty spices rack, and I became SOUP-MAN, the most brilliant cook in the universe. SOUP-MAN! Only three others share this secret: the Sauceress, Man-That-Warms and Gazpacho. Together we defend Bistro Grayskull from the evil forces of Vegetor.”

Sunstorm drooled a little now; and put on a blonde page wig,

He tore off his apron. It revealed a hyper-muscular frame nearly as wide as he was tall! Dressed in nothing but a tight, bulging red speedo, and a leather chest harness with a red cross on it.

He pushed the large ladle out and down with two hands , flexed his pecs, and then lifted the spatula high into the air. It seemed to shine with a magical light.

He turned his eyes to KT.

"I… HAVE… THE FLOUR! "

He jumped off the station and pointed the ladle at KT.

“NO SOUP FOR YOU!”

He charged her in berserker fashion, when a full squad of security arrived on the scene, and took him down. Struggling and screaming, he was removed from the studio.

TU unsteadily sauntered over, and comforted KT by pouring her a glass from the jug of strawberry daiquiri he had just made, and then downed the rest himself in one go.

Sunstorm (soup nazi, roleblock) was eliminated by Anton Ego.

It is now DAY PHASE! You have until 10pm GMT to vote.

26

DAY 7

Dukey (2) - thirdrock, Nolio
TU (1) - Torqez
Torqez (1) - TU
Thirdrock (1) - Dukey
Nolio (1) - Undeath
KT (1) - KT

The show was nearing the final moments now. Most of the contestants were not capable of cooking something magical after all. Some got eliminated because of bad luck, some because they had no place in a kitchen.

Gordon decided to lower the standards a bit, keep it relatable for the viewers at home. He had assigned a stew. Surely he wouldn’t be disappointed again now. .

“Dukey, the assignment was to make a Southwestern beef stew. You were not allowed any help from outside, just your skills and experience, your hands, and the ingredients and utensils in your station.”

Gordon frowned.

“I see you made a Southwestern Stew, but there’s no beef in there? You managed to fail the single thing you were supposed to do. Frankly, I didn’t think anyone would fail in throwing beef into some liquid and seasoning it, but you managed it. Congratulations!”

He sniffed it.

“No beef, no beef broth or seasoning aroma’s. It smells like balls and ass crack after a marathon in leather pants on a hot summer day!”

He pushed the dish away.

‘I’m not even going to bother trying it. It just looks like awful bean soup. That has been tasted once before. And vomited out again cause it tasted as bad as it smells.”

“But, the steaks were too high, mr. Ramsay! I couldn’t do it!”

Ramsay softened a bit. He knew the pressure could be immense.

“It’s part of the job of being a chef, Dukey. Even if the stakes seem extremely high , and it all seems to be too much to handle, you keep on doing what you have to. You complete the recipe“

“But, I mean…” Dukey wanted to point at the steaks, who were on a shelf, too high for him to reach.

“Enough! The first duty of every cook is to follow the recipe, whether it’s a scientific recipe or historical recipe or personal recipe! It is the guiding principle on which a master chef is based. And if you can’t find it within yourself to stand up and follow the recipe, you don’t deserve to wear that uniform!

Take off your apron, you donkey. You’re done!”

Dukey (townie) was lynched.

It is now NIGHT PHASE! You have until 10am GMT to send your decisions to Gen and me.

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27

“So you slipped him something too, Ego?” Marco asked.

“We still had a little leftover from when we …managed…Sunstorm. But I didn’t think it would be sufficient. This fine man must have had low inhibitions already.”

They looked at the studio, where Chef, aka Torqez, was the center of attention.

“THIS IS SOME SERIOUS GOURMET SHIT!” Chef shouted.

He was beaming over his creation: a couple of an apple cranberry brie turkey burgers served up slider-style with fig preserves. He tried one himself, taking a big bite out of it.

“Mmmm- Mmmm. That is one tasty burger! Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?’

“It’s not really the standard way of cooking a quarter pounder with cheese, you see.” It deviates from importan…” Anton Ego said.

A knife suddenly twanged into the wall right next to Anton’s head.

“I’m sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn’t mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best practices. What’s the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. What does this tasty burger look like?”

There came no reply.

Chef insisted.

“Does it look like a bitch? I asked if you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?? Ugh. Have you ever been in a Turkish Prison? “

“Chef, don’t you think you’re out of control?“

“Given that that is a stupid-ass question, I’ve elected to ignore it. Oh man, that burger looks so good. So really beautiful. Gorgeous, mmmm-mmm!. It just looks like it needs a little more… A little more REAL MEAT. Yeah, baby. You know what, let me just unzip… and… just… oooh… yeaaaah. Yeaaah!”

“What the hell, Chef??” Undeath shouted. TU toasted Torqez with a jug of gin. KT fainted. Nolio rolled his eyes. Thirdrock grabbed a beer and studied the label. Dukey threw up right into his bouillabaisse, making it extra chunky.

“Oh, yeah, just the right temperature. Oh baby!”

Ramsay had meanwhile walked in, and was rooted on the spot by indecision if he should either just shoot everyone, or run away from this studio, or try not to exist in the universe. He sighed, rubbed his face, and cast his eyes to the ceiling.

“Security, get this guy the hell out of here!”

Torqez, aka Chef, the town doc was eliminated by Anton Ego.

It is now DAY PHASE! You have until 10pm GMT to vote.

28

DAY 8

thirdrock (4) - Undeath, Nolio, KT, TU

Nolio (1) - thirdrock

Chef Ramsay strolled into the kitchen set with his usual confidence and prepared to address the remaining contestants.

“Good evening! 26 of you first started this competition, and only 5 remain! One of you will take home the trophy…”

"Yes, yes. “We’ve heard all this before.”

“Excuse me?” chef Ramsay glanced furiously at the contestants, wondering who had the gall to interrupt him. “Who said that?”

And then he saw it. Sitting cross-legged across the room from him, Anton Ego sipped on a glass of 1961 Cheval Blanc.

“1961 was an outstanding year. The May frost reduced the crop to just 11 hectolitres per hectare, did you know? Then, beautiful dry summer weather ripened the grapes to perfection. Very classy wine.”

“That’s very interesting. Can we get back to the show now?”

“Ah, the show. Always the showman, aren’t you, chef Ramsay.”

“Listen, I’m starting to lose my patience with you, you pompous ass. What do you want?”

“Perspective.”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s what I was hoping to find when I agreed to be a part of this charade. A little perspective. Some fresh, clear, well-seasoned perspective.”

“You’re speaking in riddles now!”

“Perspective. Fresh out, I take it? Very well. Since you’re all out of perspective and no one else seems to have any on this bloody show, I’ll make you a deal: you provide the food, I’ll provide the perspective.”

“Look here, you wanker. In here you’re a cook, not a critic. I tell you what to do, and you do it!”

“No, I don’t think I will.” Anton Ego puts down his cup, slowly gets up from his seat, removes his apron and gently folds it and lays it on the table. “The motto of this show is Anyone can cook. You seem to believe this to be true. I, on the other hand, take cooking seriously. No one here can cook, that much seems obvious. And on that note, my work here is done. I bid you all a fond farewell.”

Everyone stared in awe at Anton Ego as he turned his back and slowly walked out of the set.

thirdrock (Anton Ego, mob GF) has been lynched

It is now NIGHT PHASE! You have until 10am GMT to send your decisions to ZoZ and me.

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29

NIGHT 9

Anton Ego had left the show, just like that. Marco Pierre White was not happy about it, not happy at all. And an angry Marco Pierre White in the kitchen is something no one likes to see.

“Where are you going with that cleaver, Marco?”, asked Nolio, suprised at the size of the sharp utensil.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m going to chop the salad.”, Marco answered grumpily. He started to hack away at the lettuce, as small pieces of the vegetable flew all over the kitchen.

“Allow the knife to do the work, and the bone to guide you!”, Marco said out loud, almost in a trance as he followed it with a sinister laughter.

“I think he’s starting to lose it.”, Nolio whispered to Remy. “Yea poor guy, too much pressure. Besides, he knows he can never hope to beat me. Me, the greatest rat chef in history!”. Remy hadn’t noticed, but in his euphoria his whispers had become quite audible to everyone.

“So you think, you’re better than me? A rat, better than me, the youngest chef to win 3 Michelin stars? The nerve on you.”

Remy backed away from Marco slowly. “I… I’m sorry Marco, I didn’t mean anything by it… It’s the stress, it’s getting to all of us, hehe…”

Marco was beyond reach by this point though. “Back in my day, we treated rats in a very different way, you know? I think it’s time I show you how we dealt with your kind!”

Marco Pierre White got a broom and started chasing Remy all over the kitchen, hitting pans and pots and breaking dishes by the dozen. Nolio decided to intervene and put himself in Marco’s path.

“Look here buddy, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you need to calm down! Come here and sit down, I’ll give you some tips on how to control that agressive side of yours. You don’t have to pay me or anything, just put in a good word for me with your friends, ok?”, Nolio smiled and winked at Marco as he placed a business card in his pocket.

It was at that point that he knew he screwed up. Marco’s eyes became dark red, and legend would have it blood exuded from all his pores.

“RATS AND CHARLATANS! Is this what it’s come down to???”. Marco’s veins started popping out of his neck and forehead, and Nolio decided it was time to run as well. Unfortunately for him, he ran straight into Chef Ramsay, who had just arrived in the kitchen.

“What is the meaning of this?”, he asked as he looked around the kitchen, which was by now in complete and utter disarray.

“He started it!”, Nolio said as pointed a finger at Marco. “He went nuts!”

“I did no such thing. How dare you accuse me, you pleb? It was this guy, and that rat! I told you that was a terrible idea from the start Gordon, having a rat in your kitchen. Atrocious!”

Gordon Ramsay looked for Remy to ask him for his side of the story, but the rat had long since ran out of the kitchen.

“Well, someone needs to be held accountable for this mess.”, Ramsay said. “Nolio, do you remember that great dish you made that everyone praised?”

“Huh… I can’t say I do, chef.”

“No one does, that’s the problem. Pack up and leave.”

Nolio (townie) has been eliminated by Marco Pierre White

It is now DAY PHASE! You have until 10pm GMT to vote.

30

DAY 9

“This is it! The moment we’ve all been waiting for, the grand finale of Imperial Kitchen! Tonight we made our way to a very special place; we are at Gusteau’s, the restaurant previsouly owned by the author of the cookbook “Anyone can cook”, Auguste Gusteau. If there’s one thing I can tell you that I’ve learned over my years as a chef, is that food tastes better in Paris.”

Chef Ramsay beamed with joy at the prospect of another successful season of Imperial Kitchen.

“Over the past few weeks, I saw how 26 contestants gave it their all for the chance of taking him this wonderful trophy, and the bragging rights that come with being considered the best chef this side of the galaxy!”

“And now, our finalists! First, the person who many consider to be the finest british chef in history, and my mentor, Marco Pierre White! Next, we have the surprise contender and dark horse to win it all, Remy the rat! And finally, we have… Uhm… Hey kid, what’s your name again?”

“It’s Undeath, chef.”

“Right! Undeath, who truly lived up to his name throughout the competition! These 3 artisans of the kitchen will be cooking a full three-course dinner, after which yours truly will be judging the dishes. To help me with that, I have decided to bring back two former contestants. Please welcome back Anton Ego and Hannibal Lecter! And now, it’s on! Contestants, your time starts now!”

KT, TU and Undeath went at it furiously, and it all seemed well until Marco Pierre White (TU) started to notice the other two whispering and giggling between them while they gave Marco dirty looks.

“Those scoundrels, they’re conspiring against me! I’ll teach them, oh will I ever.”, he muttered to himself. Marco had taken a special disliking to Remy (KT), the rat who had almost gotten him eliminated the day before.

Remy was cooking a hallmark of french cuisine for his starters: Vichyssoise. However, when he turned around to get his potatoes, they were nowhere to be found.

“Missing something?”, Marco asked with a grin.

“Why, you!! You know what? I think your Borscht needs more salt! Here, try 500 grams!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Marco shrieked at the disaster about to happen. He lunged wholly at Remy in the hopes of stopping him, but the rat was already halfway done with the salt when Marco tackled him. Marco grabbed the rat by the neck, but Remy escaped and scampered inside Marco’s shirt, where he proceeded to bite him for a good couple of minutes.

“Ouch! Oh! Stop! Haaaah, it tickles ther… Oww, that hurt!” Marco was trying to kill the rat by punching himself in the chest, hopelessly trying to crush Remy. Eventually Remy made his way down Marco’s pants, and that’s when the real fun began. Pots, pans, plates and glasses, nothing was left in one piece as the war raged on. They even managed to throw all of Undeath’s dishes on the floor, but he really didn’t seem to mind it.

Chef Ramsay had all but given up at this stage too. With his head buried in his hands, he dared only glance at the clock, hoping time would pass as quickly as possible. And eventually, it did.

“3, 2, 1, STOP!!! Time’s up! Let me see your hands, everyone!”, Ramsay said. Marco Pierre White, still wearing a pot on his head, and Remy who was holding his mangled tail, had unfortunately nothing to bring to the jury. So it fell to Undeath to bring his dish forward.

“What is this?”, asked Ramsay.

“It’s a grilled cheese sandwich, chef. Best I could do after they destroyed everything”, replied Undeath.

“Well we’re not even going to taste that! You’re the winner! Congratulations! Now get your trophy and get the hell out of here! This goes for the lot of you! OUT! OOOOOOOUUUUTTTTTT! I don’t want to see any of you ever again!!!”

GAME OVER

TOWN WINS

CONGRATS TO SOLE SURVIVOR UNDEATH!

31

writer notes:

Mob squad

Anton Ego - gf - Thirdrock
Marco Pierre White - mob revenge killer - TU
Nigella Lawson - mob cop - You Fool
Jamie Oliver - mob rb - TBO
Wolfgang Puck - mob hitman - Swagga
Julia Child - plain mob - Goddess
Paul Bocuse - plain mob - Cxris

SK

Hannibal Lecter - serial killer - Schniepel

Town team

Remy - town sniper - KT
Chef - town doc - Torqez
Soup Nazi - town rb - Sunstorm
Margot - town cop - Mels
Halotus - town backup cop - Luker
Marcus Gavius Apicius - town revenge killer - Jets

Townies

Nolio - town
Undeath - town
Dukey - town
Oldie - town
Mrblonde - town
Daylight - town
Arrby - town
Soul - town
Ordos234 - town
Rando - town
Melvin - town
HydroP - town

Imperial Night Kitchen

Night 1

  • Town Roleblock - (Soup Nazi) Sunstorm block Soul (townie)
  • Mafia Roleblock - TBO (Jamie Olivier - mob rb) blocks Daylight (townie)
  • Heal: Torqez (Chef - town doc) heals Daylight (townie)
  • Serial Killer Kill - Schniepel, (Hannibal, SK) kills Goddess (Julia Child - plain mob)
  • Mafia Kill - Cxris (Paul Bocuse - plain mob) kills hydroP (townie)
  • Investigation - Mels ( Margot - town cop) checks Thirdrock (Anton Ego - gf) (townie)
  • mob investigation - You Fool (nigella lawson - mob cop ) investigates Arby (townie)

Night 2

  • Town Roleblock: Sunstorm (Soup Nazi) blocks Swagga (Wolfgang Puck - mob hitman )
  • Mafia Roleblock: TBO (Jamie Olivier - mob rb) blocks Sunstorm (soup nazi town rb): dud cause too late
  • Heal: Torqez (Chef - town doc) heals TBO (Jamie Olivier - mob rb) .
  • Serial Killer Kill: Schniepel (Hannibal, SK) kills Arrby (townie)
  • Mafia Kill : TU (Marco Pierre White - revenge killer) fails to kill Schniepel (hannibal, SK)
  • Town Investigation: Mels ( Margot - town cop) investigates Nolio (townie)
  • Mob investigation: You Fool (Nigella Lawson - mob cop ) checks Nolio( townie)

Swagga (Wolfgang Puck - mob hitman ) killed Mels ( Margot Wölk, aka town cop)

Night 3

Town Roleblock : Sunstorm (Soup Nazi) block Soul (townie)

  • Mafia Roleblock: TBO (Jamie Olivier - mob rb) blocks KT (Remy - town sniper)
  • Heal : Torqez (Chef - town doc) heals Torqez (Chef - town doc)
  • Serial Killer Kill: Schniepel, (Hannibal, SK) kills Jets (Marcus Gavius Apicius - town revenge killer)
  • Jets aka Marcus Gavius Apicius - town revenge killer kills Schniepel, (Hannibal, SK)
  • Mafia Kill : TU (Marco Pierre White - revenge killer) kills Rando (townie)
  • Town Investigation: Luker (Halotus - backup cop) checks TBO (Jamie Olivier - mob rb)
  • Mob investigation: You Fool (Nigella Lawson - mob cop ) checks Dukey ( town)

Night 4

  • Town Roleblock : Sunstorm (Soup Nazi) blocks Oldie (Townie)
  • Mafia Roleblock: TBO (Jamie Olivier - mob rb) blocks Torqez (Chef - town doc)
  • Heal : Torqez (Chef - town doc) heals Thirdrock (Anton Ego - gf)
  • Mafia Kill. TU (Marco Pierre White - revenge killer) kills Luker (Halotus - backup cop)
  • Town Investigation: Luker (Halotus - backup cop) checks TU (Marco Pierre White - revenge killer) (but dies step before)

Night 5

  • Town Roleblock : Sunstorm (Soup Nazi ) blocks Undeath (townie)
  • Heal : Torqez (Chef - town doc) heals KT (Remy - town sniper)
  • Mafia Kill. TU (Marco Pierre White - revenge killer) kills Soul (townie)

Night 6

  • KT (Remy - town sniper) snipes Undeath (townie) (fail)
  • Town Roleblock : Sunstorm (Soup Nazi ) blocks TU (Marco Pierre White - revenge killer)
  • Heal : Torqez (Chef - town doc) heals Sunstorm (Soup Nazi town roleblock )
  • Mafia Kill. Thirdrock (Anton Ego - gf) kills Daylight (townie)

Night 7

  • Town Roleblock : Sunstorm (Soup Nazi - town roleblock ) blocks Nolio (townie)
  • Heal : Torqez (Chef - town doc) heals Torqez (Chef - town doc)
  • Mafia Kill. : Thirdrock (Anton Ego - gf) kills Sunstorm (Soup Nazi town roleblock )

Night 8

  • Heal : Torqez (Chef - town doc) heals KT (Remy - town sniper)
  • Mafia Kill. : Thirdrock (Anton Ego - gf) kills Torqez (Chef - town doc)

Night 9

  • Mafia Kill. :TU (Marco Pierre White - revenge killer) kills Nolio (townie)
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