Hmm don’t think this is misconstrued as victim-blaming, think this is victim-blaming. Person1 does something aggressive to person2 that person2 doesn’t want done. Oh but p2 did x,y,z - victim blaming… Sure p2 is responsible for how they react, but… still a victim of some unsolicited action. Sure everyone needs “tough skin to survive” but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t call people out when they do something wrong…
God forbid people are taught about an ideal life, what to strive for, these days. lol
That’s not what I’m suggesting though. To say a victim is responsible for their reactions isn’t to suggest that they aren’t a victim, are at fault, or should have done something differently.
The point is that they have control of their perception and future handling of the situation; they can let a bully keep bullying them or they can fight back or even avoid the confrontation altogether.
My concern is that many people seem content to stop at “report the bully” and expect things to just work out. That’s not realistic. I agree that calling out bullying is warranted, but it should’t be the only response.
An ideal life and an expected life aren’t the same thing. Imo one should hope for the best but prepare for the worst. That’s gotten me through many difficult situations anyway.
Besides, by teaching children that they will never face struggle, they are being taught entitlement. How can you strive for something that you think you already have?
I think it is fair to say that a victim (as you put it) cant just “fight back” to relieve their situation, or they probably would. It is embarrassing to have to get others involved but it is better than dealing with the situation by yourself.
I know many people who are taught about an ideal life, but know what to expect along the way. Striving for the ideal keeps ya going tho, even knowing there will be walls to climb
Well, I did mention fighting back as only one option. There’s also avoiding confrontation, or even talking your way out of it. There are plenty of ways to handle being bullied. As with any challenge, the more skills you have to deal with it, the more likely you are to overcome it.
Regardless, I don’t personally think your statement actually is fair. If anything, suggesting that victims are inherently unable to fight back is ironically further victimizing them, because it trivializes their power to control their circumstances.
I’m sure in some cases, your statement is true, but some people will actively not deal with a situation even though they can, specifically because they’ve been trained in life that somebody else will do it for them if they complain loudly enough.
Of course, they shouldn’t have to deal with a bully in the first place, but we also shouldn’t have to lock our house doors. Yet, most of us do, because even though we would not be at fault for being a victim of burglary, we do have some responsibility for our actions and our environment.
That’s very true. I think the best scenario is to do both; get others involved but also don’t expect that they will fix anything completely for you.